Hint hint!

(Thanks to Ombudsman reader Jason Karney for pointing me to this article.)



Do you remember back in elementary school that there was this kid that always seemed to know everything about everything? He would come up to you at recess some day and tell you about how his cousin in Japan just got "Super Mario 15" but it was super-secret so he couldn't tell you anything about it. I know there were a few such kids in my school. I figure every school had at least one in the '80s.



Anyway, as I grew up, I found myself talking to these kids less and less. As I met other kids that actually had intelligent things to say about video games, I found I didn't miss the vague hints and often-false gossip that these kids brought to the playground.



Well, if you ever do find yourself missing those kids, rest assured that you can always turn to IGN.



I say this because of an IGN PS2 article I recently found entitled "Sega Hints at Big Things." According to this unsigned article, the author has heard from "sources in Japan" that Sega has "some big guns up its sleeve":



First up are three new titles. First is an adventure game with a world view that's never before been seen. Next is an RPG that Sega hopes to turn into a series. Finally, there are plans for a game based off a movie that's from a studio receiving lots of attention from Hollywood. These three games will be unveiled at a game show -- either E3 or the Tokyo Game Show.



Does this sound a little familiar? Let me translate it into the universal language of "breathless elementary school playground gossip."



"Yeah so I heard from my friend who lives in Japan that Sega is gonna make some new games and there's gonna be this one that's kind of like The Legend of Zelda but it's going to be totally new and different and everything and then they're gonna make this role-playing game that's going to become like this whole series but it's super-secret so no one knows anything about it yet and then they're gonna make a game based on a cool new movie but I can't tell you which movie because my friend from Japan said he SUPER-SWORE to keep it secret and if he told anyone they'd kill him in his sleep and he didn't even tell me and I'm like his best friend and they're going to show these games at a big video game show but my friend said he couldn't remember which one! Isn't that cool! Let's go play on the jungle gym!"



The IGN article might have better grammar and punctuation, but the actual content is pretty much the same in both. (Except for the jungle gym part).



The article goes on with more useless tidbits of things to come, but it's not worth reprinting here. Suffice it to say that information like this wouldn't even cut it on the elementary school playground, and I have no idea why anyone thought it would cut it as an article for a professional site like IGN.