GDC Keynote address? Booooring!

When John Carmack talks, the gaming world listens. But it doesn't necessarily report.



I say this because of an absolutely horrible article over at 1-up covering Carmack's 2004 Game Developers Conference Keynote address. Calling it an article might be too nice, however, as it barely reports on the speech.



The article's author, Ivan Sulic said that the speech by "id Software's Chief Recognizable Guy" was mostly "of the fairly uninteresting fluffy speech variety," that "I care not to report and you care not to read."



Hey, Sulic, reporting on this stuff is YOUR JOB! I'll decide for myself if I want to read it, and since I clicked on the link to the story, that's a pretty safe bet, you lazy bum! Tell me about the speech!



The one bit of important news in the speech, according to Sulic, was a vague mention that Doom 3 is "'pretty close' to completion." I find that interesting, because GameSpy managed to find two pages worth of worthwhile stuff to write about the speech without even mentioning the Doom 3 date!



A few choice Carmack quotes wisely included by GameSpy author Sal "Sluggo" Accardo:



"Character interaction is hard, and if you start making characters look really, really good, but they still act like cardboard cutouts, it's an open question whether that's a good direction to pursue."



"There's a level of craftsman's satisfaction that you get from trying to do what you do at an extreme level of quality, but I find that's not my primary motivation... I found that I get the most satisfaction when I can tell that the work I'm doing has maximum leverage on the final product."



"Wolfenstein was blocks. There were shipping maps that were done in less than an hour, and they worked. They were fun. But when we look at things now when it takes man-months before a map gets to the playtest stage, and I worry."



Now sure, not every reader is going to be interested in quotes like these, but I sure was. I think any reader who enjoys thinking about where the game industry has come from and where it is headed would love to read some stuff like this. Any reader trying to track down information about the Game Developers Conference would gobble quotes like these up. Any reader who clicked the link to a story about this speech would probably expect to read some QUOTES FROM THE FREAKIN' SPEECH!



Ivan Sulic has simply let these readers down. Sal Accardo has not.



At the end of his article, Mr. Sulic has the audacity to tell the interested readers that "do worship every id word," to "please find a complete transcription of the keynote here, in hell." That link goes to Google and I assure you it was not added by me.



At the end of his article, Mr. Accardo references Carmack's recent struggle to build a small, manned spacecraft, "Somehow, when you listen to Carmack talk, the idea of a small group sending someone into space doesn't sound that far out of reach."



It seems almost amazing the Mr. Accardo and Mr. Sulic were listening to the same speech.



Author's note: Sorry for all the exclamation points and capitalized YELLING, but this has got me absolutely pissed. Feel free to post a comment and tell me I'm out of line, but don't expect me to listen to you.

Programming Alert

Tonight at 9:00 p.m. Eastern, GSN, the network for games, will be airing "Video Game Invasion: The History Of A Global Obsession." I know it's kind of late to be telling you this, but I just saw a promo for it, and it looks pretty promising for televised video game journalism. I'll be watching and offering my thoughts later on this very blog. I hope you all will too.

Good and/or Bad Headlines of the Moment

Yeah, that one above is probably a bad one.



Anyway, here's some interesting headlines I've seen and/or heard recently.



From Game Informer: New Mortal Kombat Causes Fatalities



Clever, no? See, because Mortal Kombat is known for its fatalities, and, well, causing fatalities... it's funny! Well, I thought it was. You don't like it? Well... who asked you? Why don't you start your own weblog about video game journalism then, huh? (That sure shut you up)



Well, at least it's better than this CNN Headline News promo that I heard while scanning the news networks during lunch:



"You can now satisfy your need for speed without leaving your house thanks to two new video games."



The anchor sounded genuinely surprised when she emphasized the words "without leaving your house," as if home console video games were a new phenomenon to her. Unfortunately, my cable provider cut out the actual racing game previews with a local edition news segment, so I didn't get to see if my need for speed truly would be satisfied. Such is life, I guess.



I'm back from my Spring Break vacation so actual, meatier articles are impending. You can't escape! Don't even try!

Sex, Lies and Videogames

Well, not so much the lies (as far as I can tell), but the latest issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly (Issue 177, April 2004) is big on the sex and the videogames. I wish I could show you some pictures from the magazine, but unfortunately, Ziff-Davis seems to have a habit of sending cease-and-desist letters to sites that do that. Instead, here are some descriptions of the sextacularly sexy features contained in the issue (please read through them all and read my comments to follow before assuming I'm totally opposed to attractive women in magazines):

• "America's Sexiest Gamer" (Pg. 38) -- A one page feature about Gamer.tv's search for the country's sexiest gamer. The main point of the feature seems to be showing a picture of a girl with a navel ring and a midriff exposing Pac-man shirt (click the title link to see it). The same girls appears in a small picture on the cover and in more outfits in the table of contents. The text includes the following introduction:
  
  
  
  "Sexy gamer wannabes, you best cancel that plastic surgery appointment, because Gamer.tv (www.gamer.tv) has already named America's Ms. Sexiest Gamer -- and she is 21-year-old Ashley Jenkins of Ogden, Utah.
  
  
  
  Jenkins bested candidates from around the country who submitted their sexiest sexy photos to Gamer.tv's search for the Sexiest Gamer (at sexiestgamer.com). The top five sexiest as chosen by the site's visitors (of which Jenkins was one) were flown to Hollywood last December for a final competition of gaming skills, trivia and the all-important sexy strut-off. We sat down with Jenkins to find out just what life is like after being crowned sexiest of sexy gamers."
  
  
  
  The author, Chris Johnston, gets major points for managing to use the root word "sexy" ten times in two paragraphs, and also for coming up with the phrase "sexy strut-off." The feature also includes a thumbnail picture of the sexiest male gamer that's literally the size of your thumbnail.





• "Move Over, Foxy Boxing" (pg. 46) -- A half-page box-out for "Konami's all-girl rasslin' title WWX: Rumble Rose." The main point of the box seems to be to show two virtual girls in bikinis grappling with each other, but there is some text, including the choice line, "no matter which side they're on, these women still be lookin' fiiiiine." (all five i's are actually in the article!) A cutout from the same picture sits atop crossword puzzle on pg. 141, and a smaller version appears in one corner of the cover.





• "In the Flesh: Confessions of a Cosplayer" (pg. 52) -- Part of a three-page feature by Seanbaby on cosplaying, this half-page feature contains three pictures and an interview with 23-year-old Tiffany-Marie Austin. The picture show Ms. Austin in various degrees of costume skimpiness; the more skin, the larger the photo seems to be the rule. The interview includes the questions, "What's the skimpiest costume you've ever worn?" and, "What's the naughtiest costume you've ever seen?"





• "Celebrity Gamer: Mya" (pg. 54) -- Featuring a full-page picture of Mya wearing... some sort of translucent sarong would probably be an apt description, while posing suggestively. The text describes Mya as a "steamy chanteuse."





• "Billy Mitchell: Videegame Champ, Hot-sauce Maven" -- This interview with videogame record holder Billy Mitchell includes a picture of him surrounded by nine Asian beauties in skimpy outfits. The caption: "Sorry ladies: Mitchell, recognized here for his Pac-man skills, is married by says he's inundated with proposals."





• "New school" (pg. 83) -- My absolute favorite feature in the magazine. What better way to introduce 50 games to watch out for in 2004 than with "our stern schoolmarm," a blonde model with glasses, a half-open white blouse , a short black skirt and fishnet stockings. The feature uses pictures of the "schoolmarm" to introduce each section, including:
  • Action games (pg. 90): Our model holding a riding crop and staring at the camera like she wants to spank someone.
  
  
  
  • RPG games (pg. 96): Our model fondling a globe (still holding the whip).
  
  
  
  • PSP games (pg. 98): Our model lying back with come hither look, legs slightly spread.
  
  
  
  • Shooting games(pg. 100): Our model showing her backside, gesturing towards the blackboard with a pointer.
  
  
  
  • Fighting games (pg. 104): Our model standing at attention with a baseball cap(?)
  
  
  
  • Stealth games (pg. 108): Our model propping her legs up on stack of books.
  
  
  
  • Weird games (pg. 112): What better way to finish than with our model holding open hedge clippers across her chest.
  
  
  

Now before you all go calling me a prude who thinks all women should remain completely covered at all times, let me say that I understand where these magazines are coming from when they use attractive women in their pictures. Sex sells, after all, and the increasing competition of magazines like Maxim and FHM is eating into the aging, mostly male gamer market. It's hard to blame a magazine for giving their readers what they want.



And, to be fair, even this particular issue of EGM isn't totally sex obsessed. The main focus is still video games, and they cover that topic quite well. The coverage of the Nintendo DS unveiling is particularly good, and the features on cosplaying and Twin Galaxies referee Walter Day are well-written and interesting. Some of the examples I mentioned above are also pretty tame, especially compared to other non-video-game "male" magazines.



The being said... well... do we really need all this sex in the magazine? Would the "New School" feature really suffer for having a less exploitative visual motif? Should a video game magazine really be devoting space to features on "America's Sexiest Gamer" and sexy "Celebrity Gamers." Would WWX: Rumble Rose have gotten even a cursory mention if it didn't feature scanitly-clad ladies grappling with each other?



The issue brings up more general questions as well. Are magazines scaring off potential female readers by including such pictures, or can most women handle a little skin in their magazine? Is the female gaming audience even out there and worth courting? Should suggestive pictures be included in a magazine that has a large proportion of child readers (not necessarily EGM, whose audience does skew older)? Is the proclivity for skimpy outfits just a reflection of a video game industry seemingly obsessed with the same, or should the press hold themselves to a higher standard?



I find the recent discussion threads for the past few posts have helped me keep an open mind on these issues and tempered my dictatorial, "I'm-right-and-you're-wrong" tone, so I'm going to open up the floor again for this one. Respond to any of the above questions, or post any other thoughts you might have on this issue using the "Comments" link below.

The links just keep on coming

Since I find these links interesting, I thought you might find them interesting as well. Imagine that.



1) Remember when I told you "stay tuned for news" about a video game style guide. Well... that news is here! Along with the IGJA, I have taken it upon myself to start a collaborative, video game style guide. Basically it's just a message board where we'll discuss various style entries that people can propose, and in doing so eventually work out some official style guidelines. It'll only work if we get a lot of people interested and posting on it, though, so help out! The actual style guide forum is here. Read the Style Guide Style Guide first so you know the format for posting, and feel free to consult The Big List for ideas on what to write about.



2) Ombudsman reader Brian Crecente over at the Rocky Mountain News has informed me that he has a new blog about gaming, appropriately called red-assed babboon (don't ask me why it's appropriate, but I'm assuming it is). He takes an interesting look at many important game issues, but what will especially interest readers of this blog is his discussion of AP style guidelines for computer/video games (fourth story down on the page).



3) An e-mailer referring to himself as "The GameCube Guy" has pointed me to his website -- GameCubeGuy.com -- as "a site devoted to Nintendo humor/satire/entertaining articles."



The beginning premise for this site is based off my own personal hatred of what modern gaming websites have become. From one site to another, the news stories are identical. Every site either gets their news from a common press release or snatches it like vultures from the first site to carry the story. In an effort to seem like supreme content bearers, every site also posts anything they can get their hands on, despite the fact nobody on Earth gives a damn.



The thing that struck me about the site is how similar it reads to many real GameCube sites. Deadpan parody at its best.



Midterm week is coming up, so real posts are going to become more scarce for a while ("More scarce then they are now?" you ask incredulously. "How is that possible?") Why not use the time to post some thoughtful threads on the Style Guide!

What's in a (really weird) name?

Edit: 3/5/04 4:00 p.m. EST: This was supposed to go up yesterday morning, but I forgot to uncheck the "Draft" option. Whoops. Here it is.



On or about Dec. 3, 2003, Atari and Reflections decided to change the name of anticipated driving title Driver 3 to Driv3r.



"Big deal," I'm sure many of you are thinking. "Who cares what the name is? I've got important work to do posting new screenshots of M3tal G3ar Solid!"



But I think this raises some important style questions. Should an outlet always stick to a game's official name (on the first reference)? What if that name is really stupid and hard to read? Does a game company have a right to have their game referred to how they want. Does a game publication have the right to give a game a nickname or abbreviation that doesn't suit it?



A good thing to do when faced with a perplexing style question (and no style guide is available... but stay tuned for news on that) is to check out what other publications did with the situation. Unfortunately, in this case, that method doesn't exactly provide a clear consensus:

• IGN gives a nod to pronouncability and says that Driv3r is "also know as: Driver 3, while sister site Voodoo Extreme notes that the name Driv3r is "Driver 3 for the leet speak impaired."
  
  
  
  
• Gamers.com's game page give no mention to the official title, referring to the game only as Driver 3.
  
  
  
  
• GamePro gives no mention to an unofficial title, calling the game Driv3r in a news story about the game's delay. (GamingWorldX similarly fails to mention an easily readable name in an extensive preview... they even keep the title all capitalized: DRIV3R)
  
  
  
  
• GameSpot says the name is "(aka Driv3r)" in their story about the delay.
  
  
  
  
• Gamer.tv wants you to know that Driv3r is "the name for the third Driver game. Honest."
  
  
  
  
• Perhaps most perplexingly, EBGames calls the game Driver 3 on all its pages despite hosting a GameSpot preview that calls the game Driv3r.
  
  
  
  
• And finally, in a bit of editorializing, Gamers Europe says Driv3r is "a name so terrible we feel like dying. And/or killing."

I have my own thoughts on what the "official" style should be for this one, but I'd like to hear your comments first (since it worked so well last time). Post your thoughts using th3 comm3ts link b3low.

The Ombudsman Needs a Job!

If you will allow me to digress from my whining about how the video game journalism industry is going to hell, please read this post about how I want to get paid to help stop the video game journalism industry from going to hell. If you won't allow me to digress, well, stop reading.



In May of 2004 I graduated from The University of Maryland, College Park with a double degree in computer science and journalism. While I wish I could stay in school forever, whiling away my time playing games and writing reviews for the student newspaper, it's time to move on.



To that end, I'm officially putting myself on the market for a paid position writing about the video game industry.



Why you should hire me, you ask? What can I do for you? Well...:

• I can write consumer-focused reviews (be they raves, pans or just off beat)



• I can write artistically-focused critiques (about dancing, platforming, fighting...)
  
  
• I can write previews (both glowing and slightly less glowing)



• I can write news (about video games or not)



• I can write editorials (for corporate giants and small, independent sites)



• I can write features (on web-based games or web-based programming competitions, for instance)



• I can write analysis (and meta-analysis)



• I can write profiles (and meta-profiles)



• I can write popular fan-boy propaganda



• I can write, uh, intelligent fan fiction



• I can write dozens of other articles about video games and not about video games

I would be happy to do any of these things for your publication, or anything else you may want me to do: copy editing, databse management, web site design/programming, layout, or Ombudsman-style columns (to name a few areas that I have experience in!)



I am willing to freelance and I am willing to relocate. I am NOT willing to work for free (I've already done that). I am looking for full-time or part-time work that I can start to make a living off of, even if it's not a comfortable living. (Read: It doesn't have to be highly paid)



I've wanted to be in this business ever since I first subscribed to Nintendo Power. Now is as good a time as any to throw my full weight behind that dream.



Let me know if you have any openings...



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